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[caligulas_aquarium]

this is eridan
aint here right noww so if its important just leavve a message
otherwwise fuck off

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[caligulas_aquarium]

So.

[Sorry Kanaya, he got what he wanted; motivation for bothering is now at ZERO.]

[speakveryclearly]

[She spends several seconds just sitting there aware that her bribe has pretty much expired. QUICK... CONVERSATIONAL TOPIC... GO... uh... uhhhhhh...]

What are you doing for Christmas this year?

[caligulas_aquarium]

What's Christmas?

[speakveryclearly]

You're the one saying all the trolls here aren't worth giving the time of day compared to your Earth-cultured friends, and you've never heard of Christmas?

[caligulas_aquarium]

Are you gonna tell me or what.

[speakveryclearly]

It's their equivalent of Twelfth Perigee's Eve! Their silly alternate calendar means it's more than twice as often: yearly instead of sweeply.

But the unhealthy human tendency towards living in concentrated areas instead of in isolation is for once a good thing. Everyone gives each other gifts and dresses up and gathers and it's in general the one time of the year when you can trust none of them to backstab each other.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Oh.

[Sounds way too social for his liking. :V]

Probably nothin' then. Don't sound like my sorta thing.

[speakveryclearly]

Getting gifts isn't your sort of thing?

[caligulas_aquarium]

Well I got no intention of giwin' 'em out so if I start receiwin' 'em there's gonna be that sorta expectation.

So fuck it, it's less hassle just not to bother.

[speakveryclearly]

I don't think anyone actually has that expectation from you.

There's always the alien excuse anyway.

[caligulas_aquarium]

That's the plan.

Alien excuse for non-trolls. Actual trolls shouldn't be expectin' anythin'.

It all works out.

[speakveryclearly]

Seasonal serendipity.

Though from what I've been hearing, you shouldn't be so sure you're not getting any gifts.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Whaddya mean.

Like from who?

[speakveryclearly]

[She counts off on her fingers a little but then shakes her head]

People. I don't want to ruin the surprise, now do I.

[caligulas_aquarium]

The whole notion a' Christmas in the first place "ruins the surprise" [Airquotes] don't you think.

It's pretty much 'expect gifts maybe' and then you get some an' think 'Well yeah this was gonna happen ewentually.'

[speakveryclearly]

Well, like a wriggling day - you're not supposed to know what people are getting you, now are you.

[caligulas_aquarium]

God, who cares, it's a shitty human holiday anyway.

Just know no matter who gets me what or what else, I won't be partakin' in any sorta "krissmess". Not now, not ewer.

[speakveryclearly]

Christmas. [She enunciates it crystal clear.] If you're going to denounce it, at least properly pronounce it.

[She gets up.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Yeah, yeah, that. Krissmuss.

Are you off then.

[speakveryclearly]

Christmas.

There's a tee in it.

[caligulas_aquarium]

That's what I said.

Krissmass.

[speakveryclearly]

Close enough.

[She's making her way to the door.]

I'll see you later.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Later.

[speakveryclearly]

[GOES THROUGH DOOR CALMLY CLOSES IT YEP

GONE

...until tonight outside his windowsill of course]