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[caligulas_aquarium]

this is eridan
aint here right noww so if its important just leavve a message
otherwwise fuck off

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[speakveryclearly]

[Ah YES... his respiteblock... wow that sure looks different from last... night... yep... well she's following him in...]

I already have full color sketches for your reference. [Getting her stuff set up on some surface now.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Lemme see 'em then. [Holding out his hand towards her.]

[speakveryclearly]

Here they are. [She's got a bit of a stack of both Eridan and Roxy, together and apart, in varying stages from sketch to full color - as she hands them over, she shuffles them around so the most recent piece with just his outfit, in pretty much full color, is on top.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Yeah, he doesn't really bother looking through all of them, just the one that looks 'finished'. All this design shit is beyond him so naturally the rest compared to the one that looks done are worthless.

Only a few seconds; colors are fine, it's a suit, yeah that'll do. So he hands the stack back to her.]

It looks fine.

[speakveryclearly]

[Takes back... smiling a little because WOW, HE ACTUALLY SAID THREE NOT TOTALLY TERRIBLE SENTENCES IN A ROW - see, this is why fashion is nice. Because people always like it when she does it, unlike say playing a game or making out with a woman.]

Alright, now-- [put your arms like this, she tells him, except she's a lot more specific because she actually knows jack shit about how the fuck you measure somebody.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Unfortunately the only reason he isn't being horrible and shouty is after a month and a half it's clearly not done anything to deter her whatsoever, so what's the point? He's gonna have to think of something else to try and get rid of her.

In the meantime all he can do is be as minimally responsive as necessary, at least until he gets the suit for the masquerade.

So he does as she asks, raises his arms, whatever. Do yo' thing fashionista.]

[speakveryclearly]

[You know, there's always accepting that he's not getting rid of her. Just a thought. The measuring process continues. All its normal parts. Measuring around the neck: Actually a normal part.

And, uh, leaning up so he can hear her is a normal part of her being shorter than him in this timeline.]

By the way, it's virtually impossible that my ex-ashenmate has met his fate in the way you conjecture.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Silly Kanaya, that idea is entirely dependent on Eridan not being a raging douchebag. In any case he's still silent for a few seconds after she speaks, as if he's considering whether or not to respond.]

What makes you say that?

[speakveryclearly]

[Tension - her fangs for a moment aren't entirely hidden by her lips until... they are again.]

You described a vengeful rainbow drinker enacting violence on her sire. [She removes the tape and wraps it around his chest.] And he's not mine. Any more than you are.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Maybe it's a different Kan, then. Ain't no guarantee the pair a' you were from the same timeline.

[speakveryclearly]

[...he had the wand DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT KANAYA YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS HERE] Of course not. There are a multitude of timelines in paradox space. [Tape goes loose...]

Including the one where we were friends, which blows the Maryam-Ampora hate destiny hypothesis almost entirely out of the water, but I think I'm on a tangent now.

[CLOSED TAPE.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Yeah, well-

[Okay, so it doesn't necessarily convince him that other Eridan isn't dead by now and seething in his own bitter rage much like he does, but at the same time she's right. She is already dead and on top of that she's a lot more attached to him and that other Eridan than Kanaya ever really was in the entire time he knew her.

So...aside mentioning the Matriorb, he can't really think of anything to say about that. Maybe she is just different.

Maybe.

But...]

How long does this measurin' thing usually take.

[Yeah fuck this lets just ignore things we can't argue around BEST PLAN.]

[speakveryclearly]

[As she descends to measure his leg, he probably can't see anything besides a slight, sharpening light, but her lips have bent into a little crooked smirk. She's gotten somewhere, she can feel it. And thank god, this couldn't have come soon enough.]

A while. Not much longer.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Fine.

[Going back to not talking then, in a petulant manner. In fact if he could, he'd even cross his arms. HE'S JUST DOING HIS WHOLE ROYAL AND NOBLE CASTE PROUD RIGHT NOW YEAH.]

[speakveryclearly]

[Ironically enough, she no longer even needs his arms. He could cross them all he likes. Sucks for you, Eridan, doesn't it? But his legs seem to be the last part, as after those she straightens up and turns to write everything down on one of her pieces of sketch paper.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Well he sure can CROSS HIS ARMS NOW.]

So we're done now, right.

[speakveryclearly]

[A silence.]

Yes. [Left unspoken is "Unless You Dont Want It To Be". Because she's getting it, however slowly. He wants it to be.

Wait, she'd thought about this, she remembers - as she turns to leave and then doesn't - something else she needed to say to him.]

You know. I understand that you want me to hate you. But I really can't comprehend why. Not the causes either, I mean, you explained those and don't need to again. The reasoning for why it would be better that way.

[caligulas_aquarium]

I got a bunch of reasons it'd be better.

[Like...idk.]

[speakveryclearly]

You can be miserly with them if you like. I'm only asking for one.

1/2

[caligulas_aquarium]

Ooooookay, what about...

[Yeah he pauses for a second to actually think.

If this isn't indicative of the fact he clearly hasn't thought much about why, then what the fuck is.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Okay, say we do put aside the fact all the murders happened an' generally didn't ewen like each other's company all that much before your little year's stay in that loony bin a' yours.

Then we be friends.

One of us could leawe. So either you'd hawe to go through all this again or I'd hawe to deal with a Kan' who does wanna kill me an' awoids the shit outta me all the time an' we'd all be back to square one.

It's just easier awoidin' that kinda situation isn't it.

[There, see, he's even pretending to take your feelings into account too. Isn't he just so nice.]

[speakveryclearly]

Why would-- [--one of us leave, she almost asks, but then she realizes it, that he's implying it'd happen to her all over again, and it should have been obvious before, that if people came here and had their little disappearances all at random controlled by unseen forces, all uncannily similar to the way the doctors treated everyone, then of course they would leave at seemingly random too, she should have known, what did she even think the alternative was--

She has to be sure, though, before taking this into account. There has to be at least a hint of hope to destroy.]

Are you implying that people just disappear at the drop of a head covering here, too?

[caligulas_aquarium]

[He counts each of the following names out with his fingers as he says them.]

Sol, Kar', Nep', Gam' hawe been here twice.

Taw an' Wris' was here once.

Fef' came an' gone a' total a' three times.

Me' an' Eq' are the only ones who came once an' stayed, eight months straight.

[speakveryclearly]

[This has probably come up already - thinking back to the instance of Feferi she's almost sure it did - why didn't she remember it? If she's forgotten it before, it was probably on purpose because it's just - just such a painful idea.]

...So.

Compare the scenarios where one of us leaves - six Earth months from now, say. Nothing could change that - after that - we'd be apart from each other, regardless of how we acted prior. Would you rather spend the six months in the interim... just waiting for that, or having a friend.

Wait, I'm sure that was the wrong way to phrase that...

[caligulas_aquarium]

I'd rather wait.

[He...genuinely looks a little sad then, however briefly.]

Look, just - eweryone who shows up is gonna hate me from the getgo. Then ewentually they'll go back. Another one'll show up, they'll hate me again.

It's easier to just hate eweryone an' hawe them hate me than to build up a buncha friendships that won't last.

Cause they won't. I know they won't.

[Granted in the case of several trolls he wants nothing to do with them, and it's less than half the whole group he even would want to be friends with again.

Just saying everyone is a lot more dramatic.]